It's So Nice To Finally Meet You, I'm Brittany.
You're probably here because you've had more than a few experiences that have led you to feel not enough of one or more of your races, you realized that these feelings became amplified when they are related to your mixed-race.... all humans experience difficulties with their mental health, but there are extra layers that mixed women deal with that often go unseen by monoracial therapists
It's so easy to get wrapped up in our empathetic nature, so much so that we often forget about our own experiences, or discount them as not as important as the happiness of those around us, leaving us drained and burnt out....
I know there's a good majority of mixed women that are battling social anxiety at every corner and feeling utterly exhausted as you try to fit into everyone else's definition of you.
As introverted women we often find ourselves sinking back into the ever-fluctuating depressive state that is so common in mixed women and wearing that heavy armor every single day, deflecting all kinds of microaggressions, racism, and gaslighting.
This often leads to closing off your voice, stomping down on your intuition, and spending your days conforming to the smallness of only what you have experienced in your family of origin.
Think you might be an introverted empath, but you aren't quite sure? Here are just a few characteristics:
You prefer time to yourself
The idea of being home alone is thrilling, not taxing. These periods of solitude are crucial to an introvert’s health and happiness. Whether you’re simply spending time resting or engaging in an activity, solitude is a welcome relief. Introverts often enjoy reading, gardening, crafting, writing, gaming, watching movies, or doing any other activity that’s performed alone.
You are drained by social interactions
While extroverts would not dare miss a Friday night out with friends, introverts know when they’ve maxed out and need to refuel their batteries.
You prefer working alone or one on one
If a group project feels overwhelming or loathsome, you may be an introvert. Introverts often work best when they work alone or one on one. The isolation allows introverts to focus deeply and produce high-quality work. This isn’t to say introverts don’t work well with others; they just prefer to retreat and focus on the task at hand, rather than navigate the social aspect of working in a group setting.
You have a close circle of friends and like it that way
Don’t mistake an introvert’s small circle of friends as a sign that they can’t make friends or don’t like to socialize. In fact, they enjoy talking with people and getting to know others. They also prefer the solitude of a small circle of friends. High-quality relationships are a key to happiness for introverts.
You are introspective and curious
You may find yourself daydreaming or working things out in your mind long before you put a plan of action in place or lift a single finger to change anything. Introverts have a very active inner thought process. That also leads them toward self-reflection and research. Introverts are dedicated to pursuing their interests and feeling prepared and well-read.
You’re accused of zoning out a lot
Introverts often “escape” from a situation by zoning out or letting their mind wander away from the task at hand. For you, this may be a way to leave a situation that feels too chaotic or uncomfortable; it’s a survival mechanism of sorts. But to others, it may seem like you’re unfocused.
You prefer writing over talking
You’re more comfortable writing out your thoughts rather than speaking, especially when you’re unprepared. You prefer to think through your response because your communication style is focused and considerate. You can carry on conversations, but if decisions are necessary, you may want more time to consider and weigh your options so you feel confident in the choice.
You ‘feel’ more
One Source shows that introverts are more likely to be diagnosed with depression. This could be because introverts don’t feel happy as often as extroverts. It’s unclear why introverts don’t report higher happiness levels, but it may have a lot to do with how introverts identify happiness. Introverts prefer a higher quality of friendships and emotional regulation. It may be difficult to achieve this high level of satisfaction constantly.
Introversion is a spectrum
Most people are not purely introverted or purely extroverted. They fall somewhere in the middle with characteristics of both. Some characteristics may be stronger, which is why people may self-identify as an introvert or extrovert.
Your life experiences can significantly affect your personality, too. It’s possible to change or slide slightly on the spectrum throughout your life. You may learn to interact with others differently and reap rewards differently as an adult.
There is no need to change or alter your personality. No matter what, your personality is a wonderful part of who you are.
Finding the right kind of support for you is key to the quality of your healing. One of the ways you can open up to a deeper sense of self is to engage in a therapeutic relationship with a guide or a healer that experiences your world view.
You wouldn't hire a hairstylist to do your taxes, so why would you seek a mono-racial mental health professional to validate your struggle and help you grow through your mixed-race experience? Not only would that cause you to have to "teach" your coach or counselor about being mixed, often this kind of relationship ends in even more damage causing you to retreat further inward.
The purpose of the guidance that I offer is not to tell you who you are, but to initiate (or fuel) the fire in you that wants to find out.
The ‘real you’, who is beyond the labels, expectations, and roles society would prefer you to play.
This journey - the inquiry into self-awareness - is the only journey that matters. Without taking this journey, life has no depth, no meaning. It is shallow, superficial, and leaves you susceptible to living a half-life.
When interpreted metaphorically, all of the great wisdom teachings and early religions point towards the journey of going beyond the ‘you’ that you think you are. We all contain a seed of curiosity that leads us to the path where the journey begins. Whether we decide to go further is ultimately up to us, but deciding against it will result in a stagnant life experience; a life half lived.
Without it, we’re never aware of our true calling, gifts, strengths, and contribution we have to give to the world. The chaos of the world around us is a collective manifestation of that refusal to go beyond; the chaos caused by suppressed potential.
Fear, insecurity, comparison, greed, the need for power - all symptoms of the refusal that cause suffering on an individual level, and sheer mass destruction on the global level.
Do you feel confined by the way that other people stereotype you before you are even able to make a first impression?
Do you pine for a deep sense of belonging and contentment, but seem to be left searching for your community?
Are you tired of internalizing the icky feeling of fetishism when outsiders mention how different, or exotic you look?
Are you over the anxiety that is caused by the "So, What are you?" question?
Do you feel angry with others when they say something shouldn’t hurt you because you aren’t full *insert your race here*?
INDULGE YOURSELF AND VISUALIZE EXACTLY HOW IT WOULD IMPACT YOUR LIFE IF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WAS TAKEN CARE OF.
TELL ME, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?
Wouldn't it feel amazing to confidently reply with an answer that fully represents whom you are not only ethnically but also aligning the amazing personality traits you have as well as your natural talents?
Wouldnt it be incredible to connect with your guide weekly to unpack your experiences, find better ways to manage stress, heal the wounds of your past, and express your emotions in a safe confidential space?
Wouldnt it be extraordinary to feel confidence pulse through your body and be able to say "YES" to new opportunities that light you up, without fear and doubt creeping in?
Wouldn't it feel so supportive and loving to connect with other mixed women and hear about their life's journey, compare notes, laugh about all the wild things we experience, and shed some tears about all the hard stuff?
Its so easy to get lost in the layers...
As Mixed-Women we deal with layers of our identity that are often left unexplored
Two or more (sometimes conflicting) sides of our heritage
Navigating Womanhood in an oppressive society
Receiving stereotyping because of our appearance
A deep sense of loneliness due to the lack of a nurturing community
Systemic racism within our family of origin
Uncertainty of safety in relation to others
A heightened sense of empathy
Microaggressions that chip away at your self-worth
Internalizing these layers can cause depression, loneliness, anxiety, suicidal ideation, isolation, some severe mental disturbances, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, low self-esteem, low self-worth, family dysfunction, and emotional dysregulation.